Traditional English breakfast at Regency Cafe in London

How do the Brits not fall into food coma after eating this?Maybe it’s because their adrenaline is still running high from being yelled at by the man taking orders behind the counter. I don’t know if he’s the owner, but he’s authoritative, whoever or whatever he is.Right when we entered, I heard his booming voice calling for patrons to hurry up and pick up their dishes at the counter. The place was bustling, and the Breakfast Nazi was in full swing, taking no bullshit from nobody. This was a place to eat fast and go—no dawdling, and that’s where our group began to fail.Mistake #1: Don’t ask questions.Our friends were ahead of us in line, and when it was their turn to order, they had too many questions. “What’s bubble and squeak?” “Can I get double tomatoes and no beans?”The Breakfast Nazi was not happy. I actually didn’t know what a bubble and squeak was, but the hubs did not let me ask. Instead, I felt the jab of his elbow in my side as he recited in a low monotone: “Two breakfasts, both toasts, both coffees, one with black pudding, the other with bubble and squeak.”“Thank you,” said the BN.Whew.I felt like I’d just stepped into the Soup Nazi episode of “Seinfeld.”Mistake #2: Don’t take what’s not given to you.As soon as our order was called, the hubs leapt up from his chair to grab our plates. When he returned, he was sullen. Just when he thought he’d got by the BN unscathed, he was yelled at for picking up an extra napkin.“This one’s yours,” boomed the BN, pointing to a napkin he’d slid across the counter seconds before.The hubs mumbled thank you and returned to our table, tail between legs. Apparently, you’re only supposed to take the napkin(s) allotted to you.Regardless, I was amused by the whole experience, but perhaps it’s because I didn’t get yelled at personally. The breakfasts were some of the heartiest breakfasts I’d ever had: eggs, sausage, bacon (way too salty to the point of inedibility), tomatoes, beans, toast, and your choice of either black pudding (blood sausage) or bubble and squeak (which is best described as a pan-fried potato pancake). Oh, and coffee. All for just about 6 pounds.Open since 1946, Regency Café is your greasy spoon type diner. I recommend coming here if nothing for the traditional English breakfast experience. But plan light activities for the afternoon because you’ll be feeling sluggish afterwards.Regency Cafe17-19 Regency St.Pimlico, London SW1P 4BYEnglandPhone: +44 0207 821 6596